I've come to realize that one of my greatest challenges in trying to change is that nothing around me changes. My days still continue in the same way they always do. I still need to get up and go to work. My existing responsibilities haven’t gone anywhere and neither have my problems. The people in my life are the still the same. The world doesn't have an epiphany whenever I do. This has probably been my greatest nemesis and the leading reason my life hasn't turned around yet. I have folded 100% of the time.
The last week has been a great week for me. You know when you feel like you can tackle everything? Healthy eating – can do! Stick to routine – easy! Quit smoking – of course! And then there’s the day that creeps up on you and hits you in your face like a pro-boxer (not Mayweather, because those days would avoid you entirely then!). It’s the day you feel tired. The day you don’t get the good news but rather the disappointment. The day you make a careless mistake in a mundane task.
That’s the day that you realise that nothing else is changing.
Today is my day. My nemesis has returned and I feel like shit. But I refuse to let it win this time. That is why I’m writing at this very moment. I need to get it out of my system before it settles in its usual spot. I am not willing to stay where I am any longer. I don’t have the solution to this yet, but writing about it is helping somewhat. I’m not worried about how many people actually read this, if any at all for now, I have to get it out and it needs to go now.
Farewell Groundhog Day!
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